1. Notes: 220 / 3 months ago  from fuckyeahculturalappropriation

    “How to Write the Great American Indian Novel,” by Sherman Alexie

    fuckyeahculturalappropriation:

    “How to Write the Great American Indian Novel,” Sherman Alexie

    All of the Indians must have tragic features: tragic noses, eyes, and arms.
    Their hands and fingers must be tragic when they reach for tragic food.

    The hero must be a half-breed, half white and half Indian, perferably
    from a horse culture. He should often weep alone. That is mandatory.

    If the hero is an Indian woman, she is beautiful. She must be slender
    and in love with a white man. But if she loves an Indian man

    then he must be a half-breed, perferably from a horse culture.
    If the Indian woman loves a white man, then he has to be so white

    that we can see the blue veins running through his skin like rivers.
    When the Indian woman steps out of her dress, the white man gasps

    at the endless beauty of her brown skin. She should be compared to nature:
    brown hills, mountains, fertile valleys, dewy grass, wind, and clear water.

    If she is compared to murky water, however, then she must have a secret.
    Indians always have secrets, which are carefully and slowly revealed.

    Yet Indian secrets can be disclosed suddenly, like a storm.
    Indian men, of course, are storms. They should destroy the lives

    of any white women who choose to love them. All white women love
    Indian men. That is always the case. White women feign disgust

    at the savage in blue jeans and T-shirt, but secretly lust after him.
    White women dream about half-breed Indian men from horse cultures.

    Indian men are horses, smelling wild and gamey. When the Indian men
    unbuttons his pants, the white woman should think of topsoil.

    There must be one murder, one suicide, one attempted rape.
    Alcohol should be consumed. Cars must be driven at high speeds.

    Indians must see visions. White people can have the same visions
    if they are in love with Indians. If a white person loves an Indian

    then the white person is Indian by proximity. White people must carry
    an Indian deep inside themselves. Those interior Indians are half-breed

    and obviously from horse cultures. If the interior Indian is male
    then he must be a warrior, especially if he is inside a white man.

    If the interior Indian is female, then she must be a healer, especially if she is inside
    a white woman. Sometimes there are complications.

    An Indian man can be hidden inside a white woman. An Indian woman
    can be hidden inside a white man. In these rare instances,

    everybody is a half-breed struggling to learn more about his or her horse culture.
    There must be redemption, of course, and sins must be forgiven.

    For this, we need children. A white child and an Indian child, gender
    not important, should express deep affection in a childlike way.

    In the Great American Indian novel, when it is finally written,
    all of the white people will be Indians and all of the Indians will be ghosts.

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